If we wonder how a life of destruction, misery and unhappiness is produced, the answer is by/through clinging. What we won't let go of will eventually choke us to death or vice versa. Immediately note how something in us resists these words.
Some anxious unresolved threatened feeling rears its ugly head in defiance declaring we will not 'let go' of anything or anyone we don't want to. Ah! But we will. Nothing lasts forever; least of all those relationships, we depend upon or identify with for our own happiness/or survival.
The reason we are so defensive is because the seeds of doubt have begun to sprout bringing with them a host of trees which bear fruit of the uncertain. We have been driven by the thrill of new found excitement, yet that thrill has slowly begun to change into dreaded familiarity.
With familiarity the edges of contempt show themselves in minuscule ways of discontent. We try to smile more broadly, laugh a little harder with added sincerity but the prickly thorns have begun the wear and tear the fabric of our make-believe bliss soaked relationship.
Desire always precedes the anxiety of being able to maintain its relevant importance. Uncontrolled desire changes frequently without our approval or consent. We can easily recognize it when we have the inclination to change things in other people. Misery soon follows as we allow expectation to enter the frame of reference with subtle demands. No good. When this happens, the foundation has begun to slip and soon the house will crumble into the sea of bitterness, resentment, guilt or deeply purposeless regret.
As we've so allowed another person, thing or event to color our existence by the identified presence of that desire so too, will the disappointment serve to magnify our illusions. We tend to add more credence to the other while at the same time diminishing ourselves and while thoroughly committed and devoted to the self-serving self-vested process, suffering has ignited at the most primal levels.
Suffering only shows up when we try to escape our lives through another by the means of clinging and possessing. Do we honestly believe we can possess another human being? No.
And, do we realistically authentically believe that by clinging to someone he or she will not leave, disappoint or subject us to a host of unmentionable repressed insecure emotions and unexpressed hang-ups we carry? No one is entitled to put such an unnatural burden on someone else. No one is obligated to us in any way, method or fashion; and, given enough time, we will readily come to understand the underlying significance of what these words aptly imply. Whether conscious or unconscious in expression, we will not be left indefinitely with our delusional splendor. No one ever is.
The journey through life is a solitary edifying experience no matter how many people we surround ourselves with. The steps we take are ours alone. No other person can walk our path for us nor can we walk the path of another. This goes for imitation, too.
Leaning is not allowed; it throws the other off balance. Do we actually think that we can belong to the other in some way? Wrong, again. We are inherently free and perfected in that reverently allotted freedom. Never are we constituted or validated by another. To either ingest this false hood or project it serves the same nullifying experience.
You cannot possibly add to my happiness nor I, yours.
Happiness is fleeting but self-sustained, self-promoted and self-projected. As many moods as there are phases of the moon, so too are we subjected to emotional tirades, roller coasters filled to capacity with abject fears and insecurities; but, these have nothing whatsoever to do with another person, place or event. They are singularly 'established and maintained' from within.
Along with our desire to be loved, we inadvertently long to appreciated, respected and made to feel special. This one motivating impetus to be adored, cherished and preferred will bring to us unending depression. For to want to be singled out, as if we are in some way specially favored, will produce circumstances of the reverse order to remind us that the sun shines on the just and unjust alike. Meaning: We are none good, delightful or specifically delegated as chosen as worthy to be praised.
Our most natural imbued desire is to desire nothing; for we have it all, right where we stand; without any added inference. We actually desire not so much to be loved as to LOVE unconditionally all the time for all things in all ways to all people. Our love is not selective or categorically designed to fit certain people, and situations.
The natural state of humans is happy until we are told what we are supposed to be. Then the vehement human addictively egoistic comparison and competition begins. "Who can obtain the most happiness in the shortest amount of time?"
These shaded desires have been developed through many layers of contextual placated repressed wants of other people who skillfully have passed them onto us through the sheer process of environmental, biological, cultural and societal osmosis. How can we possibly know who, what and how to want if others are dictating it for us? We can't possibly even know ourselves in any given moment for it has perpetually not yet been revealed.
We have ideas, assumptions, concepts, precepts, memories and delegated suppositions but where did these come from? Why are we identifying with any specific aspect of ourselves, in this manner, when that single characteristic passes through us like urine? We are NOT what and who we THINK we are! If we maintain an outmoded idea of ourselves constantly, we are doing nothing but wasting precious life-supporting sensual creative energy holding up a fictitious representation that no longer fits the moment. We are an ever evolving entity of sublime manifestation. We are not static like foam rubber.
We are in a constant evolving spiraling motion; sacredly sensually sexually penetrative in nature seeking to pierce that which is not yet known. Reality supplies us with an ever present sanctified reflection of ourselves in fullness. We are not in need of anything or anyone. Should we choose to share our divine essence with another it is solely because we DO NOT want or need anything from that particular person.
Sexual attraction may very well be at the bottom tier of the ladder of attraction. But sexual attraction can easily be transformed into sexual bondage without conscious recognition. Sexual bondage is an escape from the invitation and introduction from and to yourself. If we believe it to be all consuming pleasure full and necessary to sustain our completeness, we are denying the very unearthed existence of our hallowed nature.
As human beings, we are to enjoy sex unequivocally but not to be consumed by the superfluous idea of it. If we choose to remain unconscious and unaware of the deprivation of soul's yearning being sublimated for another's presence (physical body), we are simply magnifying our hiding place in the tomb of eventual destruction because of associative fearful clinging.
